He changed my life

"Deny myself? Are you serious? I love myself way too much to deny myself something just so someone else can be happy. What's the point? Why bother? 

Most of the time people don't notice when I do something for them. Why should I do something for them if I'm not even going to be recognized for it? It's just easier to make myself happy and not care about anything or anyone else. People are ungrateful and selfish - so I'm just going to join in with them because it's easier"

This is a conversation that took place between me, myself, and I way back when. This is where my mind was. I was happy, I was content. All was well and my world was fine because it was all about me. I knew nothing of "sin", I never considered life outside of myself. Even though I grew up in a Christian home and was aware of the "christian lingo", I didn't truly understand what it meant to be "saved" or a "Christian" or to live what was considered to be a holy and God-honoring life. 

It wasn't until that wonderful day, I believe it was back in 2006, the "unlike any other" day, did I realize what these once meaningless terms meant as they began to encompass my mind and transform my thinking.

God became so real to me that night, in a way He never had before. I came to realize that because of my "all about me" lifestyle that I was basically signing up for a 1-way ticket to Hell. Eternal separation from God. This scared me so greatly. I was so afraid of being separated from God forever and the only thing that was separating me from God was me. If I had randomly died that night there in 2006, God would have looked at me and said "depart from Me, I never knew you" and I would then be hell-bound. Forever separated from God. It gives me chills now just thinking about it.

I knew about Christs death on the cross and sort of what it meant but it didn't really affect me, I knew the Christian-lingo, and some verses in the Bible. I thought I was a "good person" because "well, at least I'm not doing ______." I learned quickly that that is NOT what being a Christian means, that's not what being "Born-Again" means.

After coming to terms with that I was then informed that Christ died for me and my sins (my selfishness, hatred, anger, laziness, ect). Laid upon Christs shoulders was the wrath of God, His holy and righteous wrath, for the sins of all man-kind. So not just MY sins (past-present-future), but the sins of the WORLD (past-present-future). Can you imagine that? But further more this wrath, the wrath of God, was intended for me. It should have been for ME. But instead Christ stood in my place so that I wouldn't have to suffer God's wrath. There is no way I could have earned this salvation on my own. My so-called "good deeds" would not get me into heaven. Christs death on the cross is the ONLY way anyone can get into heaven. Without that, we were all destined for hell. But God Loved us enough to say "no, I want them to spend eternity with me instead" so He sent Christ as a way to make that possible. Only through Him, and because of Him, can we truly be saved.

But eternity with Christ came only when I realized my need for Savior. It's not this "free-bee", meaning I "accept" Christ but continue living my worldly and selfish life, it means that God wanted something in return - He wanted me (my heart, my mind, my soul). At first this was a weird concept for me, but now it makes complete and total sense. There is/was SO much more to life than just living for myself and it finally hit me that night. So that night I laid down my life, I decided that I no longer wanted to live for myself, I decided that I didn't want to go to Hell by continuing my selfish life, I realized that I could never earn my own salvation but that I needed Christ, I needed to be rescued from my very own self. I needed to forfeit my heart, mind, soul, everything to God, and I wanted to. The more out of my hands those things were, the better off I'd be. I wanted Christ. He died for me, so I wanted to live for Him. So that night I gave my life to Christ. I said "goodbye" to my old life and started a new life with Him.

Suddenly it was like this fire erupted inside of me. Everything changed and I felt a change. Now my life had meaning, my life had purpose, and it wasn't all about me! God began to show me that it was far more beneficial to myself, and others, if I were to begin replacing pride with humility, selfishness with serving others, "would this make me happy" to "would this please God" and lots of other things! Talk about a transformation..

Now - Does this mean I'm perfect? Far from it. Am I going to fail sometimes? You bet and often. But no matter how many times I fail nothing will ever cause me to want to go back to the life I lived before I came to know Christ as my Savior.

Why? Because He saved my life. He CHANGED my life. And because He's worth it. :)

"Because of Christ:
 

I’m a Sinner saved by Grace
My sin, past-present-future, has been erased
I am accepted by Him in every possible way
I find comfort in His embrace
I learn to walk not by sight, but by faith
I know His unending love will never change
I trust His will for my life even when He gives and He takes
I have a firm foundation that is impossible to shake
And by His sacrifice, everyone can be saved"

Ephesians 2:8, Romans 15:7, Psalms 9:9, 2 Corinthians 5:7, James 1:17, Job 1:21, Matthew 7:25-26, 1 Timothy 2:3-4, Isaiah 53:5,