Monday, September 23, 2013

Tea for Two...and Two for Tea..

I'm calling this my tea-talk post because as I was coming up with said post I was drinking tea which, in my view, makes me feel sophisticated and scholarly. It's all about appearance, folks.

Plus tea just makes me happy and tastes really good. :-)

Let's talk about Trials (I say "lets" as if I'm speaking to a crowd.. When it's really, probably, only one person at the moment. Hey, how's it going? Thanks for reading.)

So...Trials.
They. Are. Hard.

And you know how God tells us that He'd never give us more than we can handle?

Well, I believe that. I do. But sometimes I'm going through something and I think to myself "WOW! God must think I can handle a lot because this. is. Hard."

The sad fact of it all is that I tend to lose sight of God when I go through trials and I have this feeling that sometimes He brings about said trials in my life so that I'll get closer to Him. It pains me that it isn't my default position, though, to run to Him.

Instead I try to fill this emptiness, this ache that won't go away, with things, people, and basically anything other than God. Hello, conviction.

What ends up happening, however, is that those things, those people, anything else you run to that isn't God is likely going to hurt you more than help you.

I experienced this tenfold recently. Talk about hit, after hit, after hit. Each one more painful than the last. My confidence, pride, everything was shaken and thrown for a loop. I call it the washer/dryer effect. Tossed around in different directions. Up, down, all around. Each new hit presented a new kind of pain. It truly felt like the Devil was out to get me and in a major way.

When the hardships continued to come I'd just suppress it all and try to move on from it but that's typically when something else would pop up. Whether it was in the form of losing a friend, or that one person deciding to abruptly step back and out of my life, unexpected bills due to unexpected circumstances, troubles at work, and other life complications. It felt like the Devil knew just where to strike me and that he did.

It was in those moments, however, where God would also counter and let me know I was still His. Friends came beside me to help pray with and for me during each hardship that came my way and others to encourage me in Christ and my walk with Him and other things/moments where God knew just how to talk to me and get to me. So with every difficult strike that came, the loving hand of God was not far behind.

Thank you, Jesus.

Lately it feels like the storm is passing and I feel as though I've come out on the other side far stronger than before. I'm extremely guarded where I once had no walls or barriers, I feel smarter, and I feel strengthened in my walk with the Lord. Through everything I learned that God is and should always be everything I need. Because in the snap of a finger everything I love and hold dear could be gone and if that's what I find my identity in then I may as well go with it.

I'd really rather not.

But guys.. What I learned most of all is that my identity needs to be in Christ. If it's not, then, man I'm in for a never-ending parade of pain and stupidity followed up with a whole lot of emptiness.

Yowza. No, thanks..

The way I see it, or am trying REALLY hard to see it, is simply this - so what if I'm not the girl you wanted, so what if I'm not current with todays fashion, so what if I do things/say things/am different than others?

God never called me to fit in with this world - so no wonder its so painful and hard when I try.  Is it an easy task to resist the temptations of the world? Definitely. Not. And I'm going to fail miserably at this tomorrow about 100 times. But I'm working to become more mindful of it.

I'm trying really hard to love who and how God made me. Seeing that He values me, and cherishes me, He keeps all of His promises, and loves me.. even if you don't. And I need to learn to be okay with that.

Will trials still come? Yes. I sense one starting right now, actually. Trials are always going to be there, temptations will always arise. What matters is what we DO in, and with, said complications. They'll make or break you. (No, duh).

But for real - keep Christ ahead of you at all times and He will get you through that which He brought you to.
I'm still and probably will continue to learn this lesson and apply it to my life but the important thing is to never stop trying. 

You guys. God is awesome. Can I just say that? I think He is so great. He is always taking care of me, providing for every possible need, - I still get emotional when I think about all that He's done for me. No one will ever compare :) God truly is all I need and want. All the time.

End of tea-talk. :)
(p.s. honey vanilla chamomile tea is seriously the bomb. Get it. Drink it. Love it.)
Apologies if this was, to you, all over the place. It made perfect sense to my very caffeinated and awake mind.


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