Find a happy place!

So, here's the skinny (its actually more of a fatty because this is a hefty and lengthy post).

Lately I feel as though I've been speaking one language while those around me are speaking a completely different language. It's as if I've moved to a different country and am trying to get people to understand me by an assortment of hand gestures, strange noises, unfortunate facial expressions, and awkwardly put together sentences. Yet, still, no one understands me all the while I probably look like someone who should be admitted to an insane asylum.

So where is the solution?  How do you speak a language that you feel is foreign to you, but is known to them?

"FIND A HAPPY PLACE!"

This results in me talking with God. Which is the one thing I find the most comfort in because He speaks my language when it feels like no one else can. He speaks to me and either reassures me or convicts me in a way only He can.

In this conversation with God I start with something along the lines of  - "God, why is everyone around me appearing to be quicker to anger, quick to speak and slow to hear? Isn't there something a LITTLE bit off about that?"

Then God reveals an answer that is so simple I feel stupid for not coming to this conclusion sooner. It's that everyone does speak differently. It's just how we all operate. That's why relationships take work because where I'm speaking one way and looking for a specific response - you're speaking a different way and looking for a specific response. When neither of those are met there is conflict. What makes a difference is the amount of time put into actually studying one another in order to know the best way to communicate with someone. That's all it takes. Oh unknowable universe!

I began my journey to more answers by first looking at some of my own weaknesses in life and in conversation.
-- Sometimes, not all the time, but all the time, I am an emotional thinker/responder. I will take your lighthearted "you need to walk with your toes pointed inward to avoid future problems with your hips" and turn it in to "No one likes you because you waddle like a duck and have you noticed how much weight you've put on lately? Surely that's attributing to your funny walk..."  
--I loathe confrontation. More times than none I will often just sit there and take it without standing up for myself if/when necessary.
-- I have a hard time saying No even when it's overtly necessary to say No.

All three of these equal to one thing - a triple threat. They pose a threat not only to my most treasured and precious relationships on this earth, but it poses a threat to my relationship with God (my most important relationship). I can't welcome Gods love into my life completely if I'm spending (wasting) too much of it concerning myself with things I need not be concerned about. I don't want to waste my life or relationships.

All of this to say that I need to work to be quicker to hear, slower to speak, and slower to anger. My goal is to reach a place of understanding with those I'm speaking to so as to avoid conflicts or separation. We are to cherish these God-given relationships. Instead of fighting with one another and intentionally/unintentionally tearing one another down, maybe we ought to stop, listen, and respond in a way that conveys love instead of trying to just get a point across.

It's not always going to be perfect because we're all sinners and terribly flawed in our thinking. We don't often seek to glorify God in conversation because we'd rather prove our points instead. There is a time for everything, a place for everything, and its time we seek to put aside differences and find common ground.  Isn't that what God would want? Life is too short to spend it angry at one another because we don't understand one another. If Jesus can love them, so can you. Make an effort to make it work.



I'll end with a little something I wrote earlier this evening. It's been circulating in my mind for so long and I've finally been able to purge myself of it and put it into words.

There’s a girl who has lost more than she’s won

There’s a girl who is open but never undone
There’s a girl who does not back down
There’s a girl who will offer you a smile for your frown
There’s a girl who has been broken hearted
There’s a girl who will not be forgotten
There’s a girl who seeks to be heard
There’s a girl who will keep her word

There’s a girl who would rather laugh at herself
There’s a girl who is too short to reach a top shelf
There’s a girl whose heart is soft towards her Father
There’s a girl from the North but attempts to be Southern

There’s a girl who will be your best friend
There’s a girl who will stick by you till the end
There’s a girl, and that girl is me.